Rain. Rain. And more Rain.

November 22

SUNDAY- today the choir sang at a church in Duncan, which i am not a part of but i DO turn pages for them..so i went! haha I was also involved in the Worship team there and it all went very well.  Hurray for Sundays.

God is really teaching me that it doesn't mater the Style of church you go to, or how the people dress or anything- just that its focused on God, and it's worshiping him. It's neat to try different denominations and see different traditions and ways of doing things. I enjoy it a lot. 

This week has been crazy for Rain! OMGSH. There is flooding going on all over Duncan and around where we are... i feel like i haven't seen the sun forever. People have to evacuate and it's not fun to see or hear about. But on our little island we haven't expirienced to much of the flooding.. only on our paths and stuff but none in any homes or buildings. Praise God! :) 

Yesterday I took my roommates car and Alicia, Jordan, Grace, Paul Bouchard and myself went to coombs! iT was great fun, and you will be proud to know i didn't get us lost :) haha...we had a map and a GPS so that probably helped..BUT still. haha... it was a lot of fun. I got all my family's Gifts ( but there not that big so dont get excited guys..) so thats good.

Conserning gifts... i don't think i'm going to be able to buy many people things... so WARNING. haha.. i have yet to tell my friends this. But i will soon. :)

Kay well i'm out for now- i'm chillin at the Dancing bean with some friends... :) (its a coffee shop thats awesome! haha) so peace for now!

PRAYER

health continued..

that flooding wouldn't effect us to much

My best friends sister is having a baby! Prayer for her because she is single..but she is still having the baby..so thats good! 

yup! 

GOD IS GOOD

AMEN

 

God bless

julia

I should've seen all the signs all around me
But i was comfortable inside these wounds
So go ahead and take another piece of me now
While we all bow down to you


You tear me down and then
You pick me up
You take it all and still it's
Not enough
You try to tell me you can
Heal me
But I'm still bleeding
And you will be the Death of Me


How can you help my affliction
If you're the sickness and not the cure
Too long I've faked this addiction
Another sacrifice to make us pure



You tear me down and then
You pick me up
You take it all and still it's
Not enough
You try to tell me you can
Heal me
But I'm still bleeding
And you will be the Death of Me

(Oh)
You tear me down and then
You pick me up
You take it all and still it's
Not enough
You try to tell me you can
Heal me
But I'm still bleeding
And you will be the Death of Me

I won't forget, I cannot forget this
I won't forget, I'll never forget this

I won't forget, I cannot forget this
I won't forget, I'll never forget this

(screams)
I WON'T FORGET,I CANNOT FORGET THIS
I WON'T FORGET,I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS 

I WON'T FORGET,I CANNOT FORGET THIS
I WON'T FORGET,I'LL NEVER FORGET

(spoken)
I know that i can never prove this illusion
You aren't the one that i thought you were
And so I learned to embrace this delusion
The line that seperates us stars to blur

You tear me down and then
You pick me up
You take it all and still it's
Not enough
You try to tell me you can
Heal me
But I'm still bleeding
And you will be the Death of Me

(Oh)

And you will be the death of me
I WON'T FORGET,I CANNOT FORGET THIS
And you will be the death of me

Running

So I'm running out of time at home. Tonight is my second last night in my own bed... and I'm kinda putting off sleeping cause i don't want to give in. lol lame yes i know but still...

Today i packed everything up to bring.. and tommorrow i make sure my room is ready for others to live in. Weird day. 

I see alison super soon :) That is fun!

Dear God

I pray for Joel right now- i just ask that you give him strength to step out of his comfort zone and talk to whomever you put in his path. Thank you for the tiny friendship we have. Thank you for Janelle as well- please be with her as she prepares to leave for YWAM. Please be with Jared as he is moving to a new place as well. Please let things fall into place easily for him and his roomie... Please be with Dad tonight. Give him strength for tomorrow. Be with Juanita- help her decide about moving to Regina or not... Be with Chantelle as she is facing hardships already this year God...be with that youth group.. help them just to unite and become one flesh under your name. You have such great plans for all those involved God i just pray that you use those people you have put in place and show them your love... And lastly please be with me tonight and tomorrow..as its my last day here. I just pray that you help me through easily and hold me and my emotions. God i love you- please help me lean on you and surrender completely... because i want to. 

Amen.

Time Fly's

Wow i havn't done this forever..

interesting.

Life you ask?

Well I'm dating an amazing man.

By the name Of Jared Perfect.

I'm headed to Bible school this Friday.

I miss all my friends already.

Hardest person to say Goodbye to is my mom.

Haven't written a song in almost a year.

thats not including the one for grad tho.

my life... isn't really any different.

still miss wymark.

Wish i was closer to Christ.

Have awesome friends.

I now own a lap top! thats fun..

and thats about it for now.

Peace.

Julia

so many memories

memories are flashing through my mind as grad is quickly approaching. It's scary to think that in a weeks time i'll be writting my last final... and than graduating from highschool... GAR

I'll miss it..but not the drama. The drama can just be gone... screw it haha..

On good news ....it's almost gone. Love it.

Me.

the end of the road

Coffeehouse was last night..and it was fun. Not a WHOLE lot of people showed..but it was still alright...the music went long hahaha..but ya.

3 more weeks of school... i have so much to do. wow. it's so scary how soon we all graduate... but it was bound to happen sometime i guess right? Right! haha...

I LOVE GOD

In-like

Oh boy--- Oh boy Oh boy.
hehe.

i'm tired.
Goodnight.

Godblessssssssssssss
me.

Coffeehouse yo!

Coffee house is totally really soon! AND I"M PUMPED!!

Combo is singing and i'm doing a set...not sure what i'll play though...maybe Memories, world spins madley on, cinderella song, falling, blackbird?

Who knows...we'll see i guess.....

YAY COFFEE HOUSE!!!

Prayer

God help me through this. It scares me to think that this could be it, it scares me how real it all is. Lord i love you so much, you have blessed me an unbelievable amount this year and really..well throughout my life. I thank you so much for that! You're amazing! I pray right now that you just show me what to do and show me how to take everything in God. I pray also for the end of shcool..that you just hold all emotions in your hands God. Please keep me healthy as well so I can do a good job at the Ceremony on Grad day..i pray that if there is something that needs to be said prior or anything like that God that you just speak to me and tell me what needs to be said God. In all things I do please just help me glorify your name God. I'm done with living for me God, please help me see the opportunities you put in my path God and help me not be scared to take chances for you. I pray as next year i'm going somewhere where i don't know anyone that God you just calm my nerves and just help me through the part of leaving my family and all i've known, all my friends. I pray also for my family God. I pray for my dad that you just revive his soul God with Fire for you... i pray that his relationship with mom would just reburn God...re start... God be with my parents. Be with Alison in her job lord...help her seek you out as she questions things lord...help the guy she's with to be smart and hold that situation lord... Please don't let him hurt her God..show her love. Be with Luke... in his job and his friends God. Help him continue to make good choices in your name and stand up for what is right even when it's harder God.

I love you so much...I love you. God please take away these feelings for this boy if they are not from you God...take them away from me AND him God. Help us know what to do and how to play this out. I trust you Lord, help me to do your will.

In your name.
Amen

YC 2009

I love life I love life I love life I love life I love life I love life I love life....


LIVE IT LOUD!!!!
I can
you can
we can
I gotcho back!

My G-O-D Is B-I-G yo!

The Joys of Nervous-ness

So when Janelle and I get nervouse, we create this nervous laugh type thing. Prime example----Last night. We were with JP and Corbin and it was weird...and we started giggling uncontrolably, until we went to the bathroom to chill...but we actually just kept laughing so it didn't help much. Ya- it was a good time tho lol..

Thats all i really got right now...to say...
Julia.

VOTE

Elections are dumb.

God be with everyone today in their state of mind. Help things to smooth over and just help life be A OK for all once again. LOVEYOU!

Your Daughter.

Madaline!!!!!

There's a girl back home I use to know
She cried her self to sleep every night
We all knew
We all knew
Only girl that comprimise
Strike with the devil to save a night
We all knew
We all knew
She tried to call me a month ago
To sing me a song that she just wrote
But i wasn't home
I should've know
That time had taken it toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
I never said good bye
I wish i would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with light
Until she saw the light
I remember we would hide behind the trees
Smoking cigarrets until our throats would bleed
Those were the days
Those were the days
Yeah
Never scared
Never worried that the summer would end
Invincible to sharp end
We drove so fast
Thought last
But time had taken it toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
Oh i never said good bye
I wish i would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with light
Until she saw the light
Madeline
Madeline
You will be remembered
Madeline
Madeline
We still have September
Madeline
Madeline
We'll see you on the other side
Die
If i could could turn back time
I'd find a way to remind you
That some how you could try to give in and fight the good fight
Oh you didn't have to die
You filled lies
My precious madeline

Sunday

WOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
yay...
*clears thoaght*

I'm bored.


Kay so anyway- today was awesome! Went to Janelles church and heard Orly and Aaron speak...it almost made me cry it was awesome..than we went with Colbi and Jarrett and died my hair, ate at mcdonalds, well we ate before we died my hair but whateves... and than we did make up on jarrett and myself... and we took pics! they were pretty much amazing! omgsh..yay! and than bla bla bla stuff happend,... and i came home and to my surprise there were two German boys (goodlooking german boys in their young 20's) were in my basement! Luke picked them up on his way out of Med hat comeing home last night... gave them showers and such and is letting them sleep at the jam space...pretty awesome... :) yup..so its a good night. I am currently just downloading a wack of pics to my comp.. thats dumb cause my computer is old and lazy..it needs to be young again... AHHHHHHHHHHHH anyway ya.. so thats life..

Oh and this week is going to suck *sigh*


Peace yo.

holdin on to you

He O.D'd two nights ago.... fell over and just lie there because there was nothing he could do... he was out. He needs help and yet refuses to get it. There is a doctors appt. for him on tuesday--but we're not sure if he'll go. Please God help him see he needs to go. He's depressed and Hurting, not to mention sick. Who cares if he'll miss work, he needs to get better.

Garr

I just gotta keep holding on to Christ, it's all I can do. I just wish thats what he would start to do.

28 days

A movie about an alcohalic in rehab. She's angry at the world, and does anything for the drugs... anything. Her room mate has been in and out of rehab for a while, and on top of the drug ussage has developed an addiction to cutting.

I didn't watch the whole thing, It was too real, too idk... harsh. I cried when I saw the scars- the new cut.... it was scary. I got realy scared for some reason- and got realy angry. I hate going to bed angry.

High Vally/ 17 Again

So, last night was pretty epic, not going to lie. We took Janelles hot standard out on the town and went to this country concert. Going into it we were all like..well if we don't like it we can just leave....but than we sat in the front row and these three Beautiful boys walk on stage. Our hearts thumping, we smiled at eachother and began to giggle nervously... OMGSH GOOD LOOKING BOYS WHAT DO WE DO!!! it was awesome. But even if they were ugly--they were still suuuuch good singers! It was awesome.

Than we went to 17 again...best movie ever! I laughed really hard i loved it. It was grand! hahaha it's really funny...right up there with dan in real life and Yes man! .....i love movies that make me laugh out loud. fricken awesome. yup...and today is shortend periods....HURRAY!

But i'm in IP30 so ttyl!

Theory

Theory is now wednesday at 6 45 this week. Which means i have to do my theory for sure today...tuesday. If i don't...i'll die..cause this weekend is my theory exam.

Kill me.

I seriously want to cry.

I know nothing and am going to fail...and than it will be a waste of 100 bucks.

Garr on life.
haha fml.

jk people... OH MAN if you havn't yet---go to fml.com except wright out the last two words... yea... it's great.

Banff 2009

Well the final trip of life is over, and it's back to reality. I should be writing an essay but I figure a blog is pretty close. Both involve thought and typing..so it's all good.

This weekend was incredable. Simply awesome. I became so much closer to so many peopole, which i didn't even know was possible, learned SO much muicaly--saw some stuff I LOVED saw some I didn't love so much. Made memories, flirted with boys (thanx Juanita :P), sang with friends, and made music with family. So much was packed into such a small time... I wish I could go back and play some parts in slow motion, making them last longer. I'll miss this so much next year.

The best part of the weekend was the last night (sunday night). It's the night where we have a pizza party and on by one we stand up and thank the mcleans for the work they do, thank eachother for being there, thank God, thank Music, thank Whatever and whoever, we share our hearts and humbly spill our deepest thoughts.

I was truely touched to hear what was said that night. Person after person stood up and told their personal story of how music this year and past years with the Mcleans has changed their life. Tears and Laughter filled the tiny breakfest room as we all spoke our minds. I have to say a few things though. I was completely and utterly shocked to hear how many people mentioned me. I'm not saying this to brag or anything- but more as a reminder to myself- I am loved. It was shocking to hear people mention my name in their journey and i was seriously very humbled. I guess you just never know who is watching you and looking up to you. You never know the difference your making in someone else's life. It's crazy.

Another thing I have to say is to Juanita and Janelle.

Juanita. When you stood up and spoke, I'm not sure if you noticed, but the room fell silent and tears spilled. How is this different from anyone else's speeches? because you said what the rest of us couldn't. You broke Mrs. Mcleans heart Juanita- in a good way. She melted right than and there- she truly cares about you, and i think you touched her life that night as much as she has touched yours. I hope that makes sense hun. I just want you to know that I'm proud of you and i'm so glad you were able to come on this trip. Your amazing.

Janelle. On the bus ride home you said the one thing you didn't like about the weekend was how you felt lower than some of the people on the trip (to an extent :P) because you were only in miesters. I want to appalogize if i ever made you feel like that. You are not any lower on the list of people in that group. Meisters is a huge part of what we do, and your just as important in it as Josh or Jerrim. Your amazing, and you've been put there for a reason. So you may not be in 6 different musical endevours... but i know for a fact you changed Pak Kin's life this weekend. And I'd say thats pretty important. You rock.

Kay i should finish my essay, But i had an incredible weekend, and am so happy that it went the way it did. I want to be in choir forever.

My whole life.

Never quit.

just keep going.

Shaperone maybe.

Become the next Mrs. Mclean

Just kidding- thats way to much pressure. Wow.

Break it up!

The spring break 2009 was awesome!! I stayed in a little town called Richmond which is attachted to many other little neighboring communities..and it's all about an hour ish away from Houston Texas!

My family down there is probably the most comical family i have ever known...your very own cosby show everyday.
Uncle Colin- A pastor and guidence Councellor- always has something biblical or humorus to add to the conversation

Auntie Colleen- a secretary and worship leader- adds the sence into conversation as well as disipline while keep a step a head of all the jokes

Auston- Grade 10 AMAZING at drumming, football, cars, such a guy - Is probably the funniest out of them all. He always has somehting to add...something whitty or just funny...imitations run well as well..

Maggie- Grade 8 full of the love of God, Swimmer, Singer, Clarenetist (sp) amazing leader - This girl used to be such a....well Ee-or if you watch Winnie the pooh-- but now has a louder laugh than me and isn't afriad to use it! She can make anyone smile with her amzing gift of encouragement as well..

Emma---Grade 6 (oh to be in grade 6 again) Talkitive as HECK , amazing dancer, singer like crazy--- she just provides the humor and talks when noone else does---or when they do she'll just get her nose in there haha..

I won't go on right now about what I all did down there, but Man.. God taught me so much. Like Joy--- you don't need certain things you just need a love of God and good friends to share it with. This family has got the FAMILY thing down pat. Family nights, family meals, they talk, laugh, and cry together..it sounds cheesy--but I wish I had that.. Ireally do. It was so fun to see what it would be like...even if it was just for a week.

Texas was good.
God is better.

Cell phones

Their over rated anyway right?--right! ..thats why i chose to crush mine with a car today! just kidding-but really it's dead. Thanx for finding the peices with me janelle.. you rock! haha-- *sniff* JUST KIDDING--- i was laughing about it.. i don't know why i don't care more... probably cause its just a stupid WORLDLY ITEM and it's worth NOTHING in heaven...so ...really.. why do i need it.. I DON"T!! MUWAHAHAHHA> unless something ergent happends and i'm alone.... but than i'll just pray and fast it will work out right?....Right... RIGHT!?!?! haha jk

kay but i'm going to bed..
NIGHT LOOSERS

Julia

My pic of names - yes i'm stealing this from Nelly

OKAYY--- idk why this has been in our heads lately--but names for children have come up ..so here are the ones i love

GIrls-

~Charlie Rain...Rayne.. Not sure how i'll spell rain..but this is my first choice. love The name charlie for a girl..like holy wow. lol
~Autom
~Eleah



Boys-

~Jake- kay i think this is the hottest name ever for the record
~Edward- but maybe not cause than people would think of twilight..but i love that name.. honest
~Fredrick
~Grayson
~Ben


haha i like how pepole are starting to take things and make them names..like storm..or rose... like..really... COMPUTER!! hah just kiding i just find it humorus. :)

Anyway i'm finished history now..so goodnight!

God works in awesome ways!

I'm going to TEXAS this Spring break. How you may ask? ---- Someone in Texas, and someone in heaven loves me a whole lot, and is making it possible for me to fly there free of charge!!! I'm basically really excited, but really nervouse..cause i have to fly by myself...so thats a little sketch.

But i'm super pumped! haha- and uh.....well... i'll be gone a week.... and uh... i'm excited to get away from everyone and everything...

Ya. Janelle- can i bring wilson jr?

Masquerade

Everyone puts on these masks. Some colorful, some dull, Some huge, some small. All different shapes, all different designs, all different people. My question is this..why must we wear masks around even those we love? A mask for every friend, for every adult, for every enemie. A new mask, or an old one, their all the same. They cover the real you. I don't care if this sounds lame. I don't care if you hate it. I don't care who reads my blog. I DO care about masks, and how many my friends have... how many I have.
I have one for Church. One for school. One for home.. but which is the closest to being taken off? I don't like wearing them, but if i were take it off, people would see the hidden truth behind the colorful design I've thrown on. NO I don't have any huge secrets, I tell my parents everything, I'm in love with Christ, and I love my school friends. But i'm starting to wonder..does anyone even know who i am under the mask?

What about you..how many masks to you have...how many colors do you show? How detailed, or dull is your mask becoming.

As some of us approach Graduation, it's time to remove all masks, and face the world. But as for some of the younger ones, their masks are begining to shine to me. I can see what they try to hide..there masks becoming see through. They don't notice, if they did i'm sure they would re-paint, or re-create. But they don't... and it's interesting to watch their life's unfold...

Put the masks down. Face the fricking truth. Face the world.
I'm sick of this stupid Masquerade.

The indifference of the world

I'm not sure what that title means, but it sounded cool running through my mind.

I've been finding a bunch of scripture lately to do with whats going on in my life and it is awesome. I love God so much, and want to fully rely on him for everything... I want to go to Sweden. But i'll continue to pray about it, and see if thats where i am to go.

She came up to me in the hall today and said Janelle and I seemed mad at 'him'. I said yes... cause we are... not at him..but because of what he said..and how he approached it. Rude... but thats okayy.. Christ's love be poured over him.. And the conversation we will soon have.

God,

Help us not to spaz out while having this topic brought up, please just calm all hearts and help it end well. I'm tired of this God, you know that...please let it come to an end soon. I'm tired. I'm done. Help. God just be with us all this week... Give us compassion and mercy, grace and love. I love you Lord.

In your name.

DOT

Another rainy day

Another rainy day, i can't recall having sunshine on my face. But when I get stuck, when I can't move.. when I don't Know what I should do...I gotta keep singing. I gotta keep praising your name. Your the reason this heart is beating. ----- M. W. Smith

*sigh* what to do with my life...gosh

4:44

This is what time it is.. cool eh?

Brandon Jazz

I sat with Stephanie...and i'm glad i did. We had a lot of fun!

This weekend was great... we saw the hornheads - an instrumental jazz group - and they were bloody amazing. They have recorded on over 100 albums, and were invited to play at the grammy's but couldn't cause they had a show in LA. They are fricken awesome ... so good.

TNJ preformed at 8 in the morning..so it was an early day.. and only we were there to watch them, but they did so well!!! It was amazing-- i love TNJ. Than By Design went at 3 and we did alright... not the best but still pretty good compared to other gorups i guess :) .... and there were plenty to watch us. THan Desafinato preformed very last...we closed the festival at 5 30..and no one was there...kinda depressing..but really good. Our clinic was better for combo than it was By Design.. We learned a lot. IT went soooo good.

I love music... and i don't know what i'm going to do next year when i don't have that with me... I know it will always be a part of me..but i mean... what i'm going to do when i don't have choir.. and such. This was my last Brandon Jazz EVER. *tear*

I love choir.

Wedding Dream

This was a good dream...kinda of. It wasn't scary, noone chased me, killed me, kidnapped me, or hurt me in any way, and I didn't do anything hurtful...really... to anyone either! IT was a beaut.

SO... i was in a hurry to get married cause ..idk why. But i was the age i am now, 17, and was very excited. My dress was beautiful. But i'm getting ahead of myself.

I met this boy named guy. (haha origianal i know..i can get so creative in my dreams lol) He was beautiful..dark hair, brilliant eyes, tall, built, and he could mmake me laugh so easily. We spent a whole day together once we met..just walking around and talking and such....and he introduced me to his brother....

Guy said that we should get married..like me and his bro...so before i knew it .. i was planning the wedding. Alison came home, cousins flew in...it was cool...everyone was there. I tried on my dress..and itwas perfect.. i need to find a dress exactly like it for my real wedding haha. ANYway, as i was planning, Guy came up behind me and held me cause i was stressed and told me it would be okayy.... :) ...

The day came finally and i stood at the back for some reason watching... it was very untraditional wedding, and i don't remember planning anything that happend. but it was funnn... afterward (it was in my church) GUys bro and i were walking and he said something that made me upset. OH and he only had one leg hahaha... he had crutches,, not sure what happend. anyway- i started walking away and he followe.d..( we're married now...not sure if i said that) so than we started talking, and i realized he didnt like to laugh. I didn't even know the man i just said i do to. I was in shock and started crying..all these people came and i knew we had to call it off somehow..but he got that to. We hugged..and he said..find guy,... he's the guy you want to marry.

So...idk what happend..we tlaked to epople and i found guy... and he just picked me up and held me.. and it was fun.. .we laughed..and he asked me to marry him.. ( i was in my wedding dress still) and of course i said yes...and thna he was like "well this will be easy to do right now if you want, my family and yours are already here..." so guy and his bro switched possistions and we got married...and it was funnn. and i loved him... than i woke up.

I want to marry a guy like guy. ...but maybe a different name haha. he was perfect tho...for real. it was awesome...WHAT A HAPPY DREAM!!! ...for the most part hahaha.

Wednesday

Tomorow i go to regina for band.

I memorized my festival songs today.

Paige and Juanita helped me choreograph my broadway.

One day maybe I'll be on broadway.

I've always wanted to see a broadway.

hmmmm...

Sunday sUnday suNday

Yesterday (Saturday) I hung out with Jerrim, Dana, Chyenne, James, and than for a bit Logan and Brady. IT was so much fuN!!! haha- call me a nerd but they're hilarious... we went pop can golfing..so much fun haha.. yea.. good times. but we were really loud..and afraid the cops were going to catch us... not that we know what would have happend if they saw us hahah. anyway

Today was Sunday... i did special music. it went pretty solid i'd say... yup. And than I hung with Janelle and Juanita and Amanda and myself... :) that was fun! I do love those girls! and than... uh... oh we went to juanitas...and i wore andrews sweater (hehe) .... haha yup..

And than i hung with Jerrim and got our broadway figured out.. and than hit up super.. and hit up bydesign which wasn't too bad..wasn't great tho..
than Janelle and I went out with Trent!!! That was fuN! I love that kid. He's basically awesome. yup true story.

anyway this is a pointless one.. just wanted to catch up.

OH and some of my friends are being lame. -- no names..but i have this anger issue with them cause of what all they said.. so if y'all could pray that my anger subsides when i see them.. and that i can you know..like...talk without yelling or saying things i'll regret..or like.. idk.. i guess i just need prayer.. March is a busy mess without highschool drama...with it..its just a bigger mess thats not as easy to clean..and its all sticky and ewwwy and just GROSE! haha just kidding.. anyway i'm like..tired... so maybe i'll go. like..ya. like..like...i went puddle jumping and it was fun

today we also found a roller coster right here in swift current! WOO..

ya.

abscent minded

last night as the clock rolled onto 11 we decided to head out to Medicine Hat. Fun times had by all as we drove with Coreys car out for the two hour drive having no real destination. We got there, picked up some pants for karluf from an aunties house... and than scrambled for change for gas to get home. A total of 20 minuites spent in the Hat... got hom at like.. quarter to 4. Good times had by all.. haha. Wow.. what a good night.

I love randomness.

We also went bowling here in swift.. that was fun... it's all automatic now...crazyness man..i want to bowl more. haha... LETS GO BOWLING!

Wide Awake

My eyelids will not close when i command them to, my fingers are typing faster than usual, i have a strange headache in the back of my head and i feel like running.

Yet i'm kinda tired..i could sleep pretty easily probably.

Oh well... awake alert alive enthusiastic YAY.

okayy.. going to watch tv.. night.

Lyric Open MIC

Lets just talk about a few things shall we?

Dylan Currie- Holy fricken wow. Thats really all there is to it.. amazing. Simply amazing... thats all i'm going to say i think.. just wow. That and he has amazing control that i can't even fathem (if thats the right word...?)

Adam Cosgrove- He's Irish somewhat lol. And fricken talented as well! SO good!!

Time Warp- THEIR ALIVE!!!! They came back tonight with Brady singing instead of Ethan. Seriously...so good..they were loud..but like good loud.... unbelievable! Hurray for Time Warp!!!

Than there was a bunch of other stuff..taht was awesome too..yes. lol. But thats all i can remember..

than after we (josh, kyle, jenni, tyler, me, janelle, karluf, jayson, dylan, joel, and some random guy i don't know) went to tim's!!! it was fun..just had some coffee..good times. lol. Awesome

anyway its late and i'm tired. Night

thoughts on life

So I had a huge talk with mom last night, about things... in general I guess. And she's on my side..not that there are sides to pick..but she doesn't see what others apparently see. And I'm glad.

When approaching someone..be careful. --just a note-- you can come off wrong easy...

Life is a gift..whats that saying?--- Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery and today's a gift. Live like it.

If you want to do something involving God... you say that it's spirit led..God wants you to say this or do this or whatever...that usually should involve prayer, or it shows that it's allowed by God, but not neccassarrily driven by him.

Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what your gonna get... so you may as well try all of them right?! haha just kidding.

No matter what people say about me.. I'm not going to be stripped of the Joy that I have in Christ..and Christ alone. I know where I Stand...people can think/say whatever they want.. I don't really care.

This isn't ment to be rude... Their just reminders to myself.

ps. These are the last tears I'll shed for you.

L.O.V.E

They will know we are Christians by our love - interesting... funny how I see more judgment and hatred than love. Maybe I need to look elswhere for the love?

Headphones on.

I sit up in bed, thoughts swirling through my mind. Thoughts of Ninja, Samurai and other important details of the day. I backflip over to the light and switch it on. *click* Bright light peirces my darkend eyes, and I fumble as I stare at the clock flashing 2:11. 2:11. 2:11, and land on my bed. Warmth radiating from beneath the covers; silent whispers speaking to me in such a soft tender tone "come back to bed". Temptation is such a drag.

Hours later I regain conscienceness and am bewildered at the fact I have fallen asleep again. My light still burning, my clock now flashing 8:14. 8:14. 8:14. As ninja thoughts fight through my mind I force myself up and out of my room. There I see it's monstrocity. A giant hand layeth waiting for me. I step in, unprepared for what is to come. Samurai unfold like fans from the giant hand and begin to swing their heavy machinary with them. I should not fight, I know I will over power them. Temptation is such a drag.

After fighting them all off with my bare hands -seeing as I didn't think to grab my sword when I left my room- I gained pride, and a lot of weapons. The hand was getting sweaty, so I grabbed all I could, and steped off this hand. I knew it was not right to keep these weapons..for that would be stealing, and stealing is a sin. Temptaion is such a drag.

I lay back down in my bed and took out my headphones and reality struck. I was no Ninja, there were no Samurai, and I had just been fighting my blankets... their choice of weapon? heat. Stealthy little things...I stared at my headphones thinking what could it be. Than it hit me, it was the majical box attached to them. I knew that I shouldn't put them back on, it would take me out of reality and into my own world... Tempation is such a drag.

Pray out loud

SO tomorrow is my Doctors appt..i leave school at ten to one.. not sure what time my appt is tho. soon after. probably like 1. Anyway, if whoever reads this in time can pray during that time that the doctor just has wisdom and such, that would be awesome..and send it around? cause i really just want this to be over with..put me on mmeds and i'll be good..or give me surgery( pretty sure that won't happen) or whatever..but i just want to figure it out. *sigh*

Anaphylaxis- is an extreme hypersensitivity to an allergen causes rapid release of histamine which causes leakage of fluids which causes sudden drop in blood pressure and breathing difficulties.

Maybe this is what it is??? WHo knows... GOD tahts who! This is why we bring it to him in prayer! haha... NINJA PRAYER..except it won't be..but could be... lol. anyway thats all i have to say. So yea.. if you get this..thank you.

God Bless!

i love fairys

fearies. fairys. doesn't matter how you prefer to spell it. I Love them. They're beautiful..call me a nerd..call be lame. i don't care.. i love them lol.

boyyyyy oh boyyyyyyyyy

Way to easy to step back into those tracks...scarily easy. I don't want it. I know I don't. But it's so tempting sometimes isn't it.

defeat

Dark shadows linger beneath eyes I called my own, defeat written across tears that stain carpet. The taste of blood warm on chapped lips, inevitable death. Cold. Lonely. Scared. I reach for the phone, inches from my face, but pain – unbearable. Blood now pools around my paralyzed body. I feel myself fade into darkness. My eyelids fall, my body withdrawing the strength to keep them open. Then I hear his soft velvet voice. “Stay with me.” Amidst the confusion I do not recognize the voice, yet deep down I know it's familiar. His lips press against my pounding head. Peace embraces my soul and envelopes my existence. And there I am defeated.

Regina Jazz fusion

Yesterday was Jazz fusion, and it was a lot of fun! Our workshop was lame however... he told us things we already knew and he talked alot... and for our Desifinado workshop he didnt have anything to say because he liked it and it wasn't his style to work on.. iwas like thanks buddy.. lol anyway The Showcase was alright... Most of the choirs were not good(not to be mean..just honest) ... but our girls group kicked butt.. along with by design and desifinado. We did well... and the final group.. Audio something..haha They we're unbelievably good. a group of 7 from all over canada and USA.. it was really fun to watch them.

So it's time to go, and our group starts to leave... DURNING A FRICKEN SONG!!! How many things do you need to go to , to learn that you leave in the middle of a song BREAK..not IN THE SONG..it made me really angry.. like..reallllly angry. so i waited to the end of the song with a few others.. cause that was just rude of us. oh well..

We were on our way home.. and all of a sudden my heart when on a little rampage. I cried right away it hurt so bad... one of the worst ones yet probably. I Couldn't move and was so cold...jerrim picked me up and carried me into the hospital in Moose Jaw and put me in a wheel chair. My choir family was so awesome, none of them cared that it was 12 and we were still in moose jaw, they just wanted to make sure i was okayy... i felt bad but was told not to. haha. ANyway, Paige, her mom, and mrs. mclean stayed with me in the hospital and everyone else went home... we watited and stuff got testing...and than told to see my docter in swift to get more tests..so thats where we're at now. I'm not aloud out of my house today... so i can't go to my gig that i have. *tear* that sucks..i love gigs. but i guess i love my life more haha.. so yea. ANYWAY thats life with me at the moment...

peace.

days of the week

Yesterday was stupid.
Today was hard.
Tomorrow is a choir trip.
Saterday is a gig/juanita's party
Sunday will be another church service.
Monday will not be over soon enough
Tuesday i'll have theory
Wednesday..will bring the joys of another wednesday
Thursday is choir..again
Friday...

Friday is a day off of school. Praise God for time off of school! Loving it yo~

the last sameri

he Just kept getting up. That's what got me. The sameri beat him down 8 times at least, and he just kept giveing his all. Was it because he didn't care if he lived or died...or was it because he was a fighter.

It made me cry, because whatever the reason for him getting up, it reminded me of how our walk with christ should be. We'll get pushed down by this stupid world. It'll cut us down, beat us up, try to tear us apart. But we have to just keep getting up, and fighting for what we believe is true.

Get up. Try again. Never give up on yourself, no matter what or who comes your way.

Praising the Lord my God

Tonight mom and I were doing scholarships for myself. Oh what fun, comming up with hobbies and writing down my extra curricular things and such. Great funn ( just kidding..it was terrible) Neither of us were in very high spirits but we went to the church to photcopy somethings, and finish what we started. On our way out, we went through the sanctuary.

Funny how God can just sorta bring people together. We began to sing, first just melody, than we broke into beautiful harmonies. Praising God together brought smiles to our eyes as we laughed and gave him the glory.

*sigh*

lameness of life

I decided that if i was into the whole super lame facebook status', mine would right now be

{...I wish we were closer...<3}

Good thing i'm not lame hey? -just kidding. But really i wish me and a LOT of people were closer. Not close as in like.. i wanna marry you close, or date you close, or whatever, but close as in know eachother fully... of just talk more. I have a list in the back of my mind full of people I miss. So therefore that status would apply to so many, and they will never know haha.

So ummm----think you should all know i need prayer--- i suck at band haha. I need to learn all my parts for music festival... and uh..welll...funny thing. I SUCK AT LIFE-- not actually *cough* but it's not going to be good. Ya...anyhow.

peace.

My Heart

Something is wrong here people. 2 nights ago I hardley slept because my heart was acting up. Last night it happend again, but before i went to bed, and i woke up today with a huge pressure on my chest. Something is wrong and I can't see the doctors because they do nothing for me... they don't know whats wrong.

My mom and I are fighting and it's wierd. Uncomfortable. Stupid... She is the one person in my family i can talk to, and now i'm not even sure i have her. How stupid is that... *sigh*

I'm very tired today..and am not done theory.

But on the upside! Yesterday...Janelle and I gave a present to soemone- and it was a surprise..so we left it on their step and watched them come home and find it! It was very exciting. haha... good times..we laughed pretty hard.. it was fun. But the person definetly saw us, used their detective skills and figured out it was us...but it was still a good time.

English Paper

writing an english paper on Esther..should be easy. but wow is it hard... i'm not in my head... not with it.

I love Esther tho...shes powerful, beautiful, courages, faithful, brave, unselfish...the list goes on.

happyness

So last night i was really tired.... cause the night previous i stayed up till about 4 right? so it makes sence really... but after Romeo and Juliet ( SO FRICKEN AMAZING !!!!!) the ballet, we than had to figure out how Juanita was to get home...because we're all stupid and didn't think about it till than.. lol.

I had no gas in my truck..well i did..but not enough..and we have no money to put into it...so than we were like..we'll just take Janelles car!..but it can't drive on highways anymore..because we're all scared of it...So than we were like.....Crap..that sucks..how will you get home dear juanita?!?!?!! lol... so THAN........

We called Jay. And by called i mean texted...and was like... "hey... i have no gas and we can't take janelles car..how do you feel about a mini road trip???" And of course he came to our aid lol... but he had a bunch of friends with him..so it was kinda weird and I felt bad ..but thats okayy.

He got a new car..and it goes fast. holy crap. you don't even know. lol

anyway once we got back we went to Bp's and I met Dustin. Cool kid really... he's very knowlageable..it was fun to have conversation with him! .... anway we stayed out WAY to long..becase at like 1130 i was like..wow i'm tired man.. and than i got home at like 1 ...*sigh*.. and than got to bed at like 2 because i'm stupid and find things to do before i sleep... anyway

i have a lot to do today....
peace.

Arby's

Oh yea--- Jay went to S'toon yesterday and he went to Arby's..and I told him I love Arby's ..and than he brought be a burger home haha... kinda grose but kinda cute...kinda wierd.. lol just not really sure what to think about it...but yes :) :) There is my other story of the day...haha.

OH -- and he came and droped it off at the Hotell..and Matt was with him..*AWKWARD* haha i havn't seen Matt since that night he got supper pissed and deleted us off facebook ahhaha.. ya..so that was interesting. ...

Janelle's Party

So yesterday we were going to go to The Hat-no not to party it up...just to get away. But the weather got super bad this week and our parents didn't feel right about us travelling the wonderful highway.... So we stayed in town. We were all quite bummed out at first, but that Mrs. Laybolt had the beautiful idea of getting us a hotel room here in swift!!! So we did :) haha..

It was great fun! We stayed up till about 3 30 ... we talked about everything...just poored things out on the tabel...had a bible study thing..talked about God... it was great. We slept in... got like 7 hours of sleep (WHICH IS AWESOME) and just all around had a good time!

I enjoy those ladies----- fun to hang with.

THANK YOU MRS. LAYBOLT!!!! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!! haha....

oh man..we made a timmy's runnn to ..janelle and I ... and than i'm pretty sure the guy thought we were just drunk cause Janelle dropped her change, and than we laughed really hard...and it was funny hahaha..ya thats my story.

Today we are going to Joel and Dylan's hockey game..i say them..cause their the only people we know on the team! Lol..but it should be good... I hope..Not that I understand it lol..BUT THATS OKAYY!!! :)

i'm out..ttyl!

oh wait... my blog wasn't working earlier...so can you get on it now? i hope so..well if your reading this i guess you got on it eh? ...ya..okayy.... *crossess fingers* lets hope it stays working..i love my blog lol. I think i would rather my facebook deleated than my blog. ANWYAY BYE

EMO- emotional moment observed

ever catch a moment between 2 people and you feel awkward because you think their feeling something special between them?...their having a 'moment' and your interupting!.... and than you go hide cause you feel dumb right? i Think this is where all emo's start off. It just happends and BAM your like "OH NO!! >>>>MUST WEAR SKINNY JEANS AND COVER MY FORHEAD WITH HAIR!!!"

Tears of the saints

There are homes brocken down; peoples hopes have fallen to the ground from hatred...There are schools full of hatred Even churches have forsaken love and mercy. This is an emergancy. There are Tears from the Saints. Sinners; reach out your hands. Children; in christ you stand.

I'm so sick of this world, of this city of this home. I'm not trying to pull a MB, not being depressed, and i'm not FLICKing being emo. Sometimes one just needs to cry. But I'm sick of the tears to. Why is she coming down on me. What the hell did I do wrong? Nothing. Thats what.

Dear imaginary friend.

I fucked up again today. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I promise. I'm sorry for letting you down... or did you care enough to even get your hopes up? I'm probably just a charity case I know, but I'll do better...I will. Somehow. Is it true? That when your passed christmas of grade 12 you change? Because mom says I am... did you? ha! your not even real why am i asking you. Some questions just should go unanswered I guess huh? --not all...like this one -- Am i doing the right thing by going to Briercrest next year? But That kind of question is reserved for God.

I heard once you have to reserve a place in heaven because when your born into this world you already have a place in Hell.

Something to consider I suppose. Wouldn't it be a shame to know the truth and follow the lies? Yes.. yes it would be...but i bet those who do, travel through life a hell of a lot easier and have more fun. But that doesn't matter does it... i'd rather be loved and forgotten than hated and remembered. Shit- i don't even know where i'm going with this letter. My point is this i suppose: i'm sorry.

Your closest friend
Julia.

????????????????

Not sure what to write about today.
Last weekend I went to a youth Conference; YQ.
It was a lot of fun! Played Games, met new people...
good time had by all.

This week we cam back to school.
BORING
I made a stupid deal with my mom
I drop bio- I take my grade 2 Theory exam
Regret is filling my head let me tell you.

just to let you know, this is not a poem.
I just keep pressing enter
cause it's fun
and exciting
and new
just kidding i'll stop.

maybe.

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME

BWUAHAHAHAHA
why yes that was my evil laugh, thank you for noticing!
i'm so tired, i could probably sleep for 18 hours or more.
mmmmmmm
wouldn't that be delightfuL?

ummm i'm doing homework.
so i'm going to go, and maybe write a real blog later.


maybe

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME!!!!

BUWAHAHAHAHA
this could turn into a viciuos cicle... i can feel it comming on lol.

anyway bye.



ps- i don't like bio... i got a freaking 38% on my last test. SWEEET

Don't give up

Please don't give up
Not yet
I'm not ready to face things alone
don't loose hope
Not yet
I'm still here, I can do this
I just need time.
Time from life?
Time from school?
friends?
I don't know, just don't loose hope.
Not yet
I need you to stand beside me
whatever I do
Whatever I say.
Please, I just need to know
someone believes in me.

Don't give up on me
Not yet
Not ever.

Dream 5-- To close to home...

Okayy-- So my family and I were headed to Joy Baylies house..one of my moms old friends. We went there, and to our surprise so were a lot of others. We got there, and it turned into a huge party (non-alchoholic of course) butit was sure fun. My bro and I got bored however and began to snoop around. He found this old hat and a chocolate milk thing. It was cool cause he was like.."oh ya man, i've always wanted one of these! There so trippy!" And than he poured the chocolate milk into the hat ( the hat was brown and super old school) and it became the bible. IT like..morphed into it once the two touched. I Was so impressed cuase it was all in order and everything.. like..it was super awesome. lol..

ANyway, than we were staying at a hotel, and Alison and I decided that we should learn how to dance, so we were going to show eachother what we had..like what we can do.. and than we were down town swift current right? and Me and Janelle were chilling... and Alison decided to go.

So There was this kid named Braiden and than janelle and myself... we were running through this mall, and found all this hidden money in different places. Because Janelle and I were broke, we were trying to take the money without looking suspicious.. it was funny..but hard. I remember i had a 10 dollar bill.... and than the random loonies and two-nies. lol. SOOOOOO We were getting this money from different shops and stuff, and than went back down town. We thought this van was following us and got a little creeped out, so we wnet into Dooley's - There were these men in there.. and Braiden (who i don't know in real life..not any of the braydens i know.) got super freaked out. He told us to get outside, because he didn't want us to be a part of it. We ( janelle and I ) got confused and stayed to see what was happening. The Men came oer and started talking to braiden. Than they hit him and I got mad. I stomped feircly over, but before I got there they pulled out a gun. Janelle ran to me, grabbed my arm and we got out of there. Not sure of what was happening..we continued on our way...we could here Braiden yelling run..but we thought if we walked it would be less suspicious.

We out side.. and we saw that van again...so we turned a corner and ran and lied down behind these bushes. the van drove by, but than got picked up by a helicoptor and this huge spot light came out and stuff... wierd i know. But they flew over and blocked us in..so we couldn't get out. They shoved us into the helicopter and let go of the van. I don't remember who the people were in there or anything..but it became more like..a prisen than a helicopter... We were put in this cage or behind bars (whatever you want to say). I looked on the other side of the bars, and there was someone on a chair, than another set of bars away was a lion or tiger.. i forget. I turned around and saw bars on my left and right... Gorilla's. What the Crap i konw. But than the bars disapeard and they were in the same cage or whatever as me and Janelle. THere was a bathtub... and the Gorilla was sitting there.. i saw a chair and was about to sit down, having nothing else to really do but be scared, and than Janelle moved the shower curtain .. and a HUGE ..like FRICKEN HUGE Gorilla got super angry and hoped out of the bath tub and was like...making noise and i could see his teeth.. and I was SOOO Scared.

Than my cell phone went off and I was up.... I couldn't focus on my screen however..and i was out of breath...

What the crap guys... lol.

Talent Show

Tonight went super well! I played a lot more than expected, but it was a good night. I had a lot of fun, specially in Popular -wicked. Loved doing that.. i love musical theater! lol Anyway, I'm really pumped and happy right now, can't sleep... cause i'm so pumped lol.

THE BREAK IS HERE.. no school for a week yo, check it! love it! It'll be fun i'm hoping lol...

yay life? *goes out for high five* ...anyone? eh???

10 bucks he doesn't show!

I should have raised the stakes, I could be rich by now for all the events he has missed. It's not even a shock any more. Why should tonight have been any different? I don't know, but it just was. Walking in, looking for them..together.. maybe because it's valentines day soon? Idk, I just thought he would come, you know, since he said he would and all. But I only saw her. Her loving smile. I love her. I love him too, it's just annoying cause it's getting harder to believe he loves me. You'd think he would put in a little effort to get to know me, when was the last time he asked how my day was...or how classes are going. I don't think he has even noticed that I havn't written anything since September. But thats okayy, maybe there is something going on that I can't see. What ever it may be, it hurt me a bit tonight that he didn't show. Thats my story.

maybe next time...

Dream 4---snakes

David Schimmer (Ross from the tv show Friends) some random chick, and I were all buddy buddy. We did everything together... including ...witnessing murders?

We went into this abandoned house because we were being chased (surprsie surprise i know..) but this house was all would..and was more like a really old church thing..maybe. Anyway, the two tall guys chasing us came in, and im pretty sure they were like... mentally ill..or crazy, like phsyco..you know? Yea, well it was weird. In the midst of trying to shoot me, the guy shot his partner in the shoulder and he landed on a pew (hense the reason i think it may have been a church?) we all became still. It was shocking, for some reason, i felt like I had killed a man, but i knew i hadn't. I was wheled up with sadness and sorrow for this man that had once been after me. His parter began to cry, not bawling and sobbing with a runny nose cry, but a soft gentel cry. Two perfect tears slid down his face as he massaged his friends shoulder. Comforting at first. Before I realized he was trying to make it bleed MORE.. so he would die. he was saying things like "it's just a snake bite. Your a wimp. Go on now, you know you want to die, go already" but it was being said so calmly and nicely. Bitter sweet almost.. but creepy. Suddenly a huge snake went up this pillar thing, and it was grose.

Me and my two friends ran out; afraid. We went back in for some reason, and found the dead guy on the pew but his friend was gone. I looked under the pew and removed a guitar case ...behind it was the friend. He was in shock..?.. and couldn't move. We ran again.

On the way out, a cop was on his way in.. i told him to look under the pew..but not to tell that i told him otherwise i would kill him..but not really cause i wouldn't kill anyone.. he gave me a wierd look and we ran in different directions. Me, David, and the some chick, walked around the block. We found many snakes around town... these 2 men had been trying to killl me and all my friends and family. Huge snakes, tiny snakes...all colors...so vividly real. I remember my dad dying... it was crazy and scary..sad.

We walked a full block, and when we got back to the old house, Cops and FBI stood all around, investigating. We darted into a house and locked the doors. The room was filled with balloons and such , and my friends were freaking out because they couldn't figure out why the police were already there... i stayed silent which gave me away. They figured I must have told them and left me in the room with the balloons.

Than i woke up.
silly dreams, always making my mind twirl round and round and round and round and round

Conseqenses of being sick

I just wanted to sleep through drama.. maybe bio if needed. I'd go for third...get to choir..be cool. But thats not what happened. I missed all morning and choir. I got to school and Randi told me I should talk to mrs. Mclean because she was angry that I had missed. I found her easily, but she says " we need to talk" .. taht she feels she's running without a choir director et person... Shes upset and I Know it. Frick. It's not my fault I got sick today..my bad! I've done a lot for her, she doesn't have the right to say I havn't. She doesn't even know the half of what goes on in my house... in my head. Whats she gonna do? kick me out of the SRC Posistion? Ya taht would suck! Frick. I didn't even do anything, sorry I wasn't there to say 'COME TO THE PARTY TONIGHT...It'll..be fun?" Gosh. I hate my life... not really but right now I do. I'm sick of pepole judging me. Thats all. I feel so sick, there is not even a teacher in the calss i'm in right now, so i didn't even have to come..

Road Trip anyone? I wish I had money .... just get away for a while.

late nights spent alone

Alone; sitting in my dark damp basement. I can hear noises coming from upstairs.. noises of someone sleeping, of a furness and of running water. These things don't concern me. I'm tired; sick. Sick and tired, tired and sick, it makes no difference. I'm done with people like him. God bless his lonely life... may God keep him company in these days of greif, but I'm afriad to. I'm afraid that if I stay to close, his sickness; depression, will wear off on me. And I won't have any of it. I've tried, I have! Don't accuse me of not trying, you don't konw me, you don't know my thoughts, my actions. You see what goes on at school. I lead two lives, and this one is becoming more and mroe sketch. I used to be afraid of my school life.. walking around alone.. but I've never felt so alone than here at home. I know God will always be with me, I know he'll hold me tight and allow me to cry on his shoulder, but sometimes it's nice to have a human shoulder too. But I can not even cry here anymore. It's not safe. If I show my weakness, what then? What then will become of this weary body I manage to survive in?

Wispers of evil fill my ear. Soft;sweat wispers of nothingness. I hate it. I want to get away, for a day, for a weekend, for a month I DON'T CARE! GOD please just get me out. So much pain all around me, I feel trapped. No, it's not you. I love you.. I do. Don't acuse me saying I don't; cause I do.

It's late; i have a head ache like none other.. So i'm going to watch some TV maybe. I feel hot, but i'm shivering. I'm tense but i'm so tired. More noise. Voices.. please God get me out... I don't want to fall again.

Power in Prayer

This weekend I was very sick, and Had to sing at my Aunties wedding! Long story short, even though my throaght felt terrible and i was coughing and hacking all day, the 5 min that i sang, i was okayy. I didn't need to cough, and i felt good about the song. People said i did good, and by people i mean my family, so i don't really know how much of that i can trust. I could have done better, but God really helped me out to be able to even be there...let alone being able to sing like i did. PRAISE GOD!

Thats my story for today....

Bogging together

see how thats like bonding and blogging AT THE SAME TIME! *ehem* this is julia and janelle 53d15616 <--- janelles imput. 6+256+26+5=6253557. 236526+222222so like the other day 23 i was pr2e3tending to b23e ninja and2 3it was super frick6e6n6 awesome666..OH MAN w2e3 totaly watched 23 59 Nick and NOra's i1n5finite playlist and it was soo5oooooooo5ooo 5good!~ i loved it and so did she6. 2it5 w3as5 5so 7cute you don'4t 5even know. hah
a wow..this 5is so int5eresting. you a5ree just going to l9ov5e reading thig 666this i';m sure..6.6 6can you even tell wh6at6 6we're saing? 555555i5 5s55pel55e5d5 that5 5w5ro5n5g5.5.i meant saying. but i c4an'3t go ba1ck now!!! AQHH4h84h89hHHHHHH lol.


*switching Positions*
! !!+
!55ghe9y64y96!!!! its janelle.9.6and jul96ia...num589bers!!! 9can yo5u 6rea2d 3th1is2 is4 695+isisis1isisi3si+si2isi6sis4is89isisiis...JES6U2S...64ni9n7tend6o2 so uh5..4I dont no what to 654wr6ite but 66I love yoyu!!6 6a6nywa6y6s4984+++++++++WE ARE THE6 5ST4RANGE IS T8HE BE2ST MOVIE EVERR48!!!!!!5464586845!!!!!!!!!64!!97!!!2!!!!!6!!!!!8!!!!9!!!7!!4!!!!62!!!!6+!!!!!3!!!5!!!9okay
well
hav+e 65fun reading t+h95is
+98l+a6t2er+95!+!

for the lady in the shallow grave knows no loving glances

My head is bursting with thoughts, ideas, stories, lyrics, words, scripture, and I absolutly love it. I want to declare the Lord to the nations, to this country, to this province, to this town...to my home. Christ is AMAZING, and he needs to get out there. I don't want to be that chick who dies, and people have to lie at my funeral saying things to make me sound better. I don't care if i'm frowned upon by the rest of the world, a social outcast. Who gives. I don't care, it's time to put aside those stupid steryotypes and lables, I don't care what they call me, or of no one will chill because I love the Lord and there not okayy with that. I will share the Lord with every opportunity my God gives me.

Dear God.

Help me to not be afraid of chances to share your great love, help me be strong and to do my 'research' in learning more about you myslef so when people have quesitons i'll be able to answer to the best of my ability lord. Help me be alive in you God.. I'm ready for change..so bring it on. Lord prepare my heart mind and soul for a life of missions, a life of serving you, a life of love God, whatever you have in store for me, prepare me God. I love you SOOOO much, you're amazing. Thank you for tonights discussion, and all the outcomes of it. Please stir thoughts in minds tonight Lord, and let what needs to be said, be spoken out loud for all to hear. God please help things get out on the table and just free so that feelings are no longer being burried because of situations. Lord you are in all things, it says in the bible where two or more gather in your name you will be also.. so please just bless that conversation that will come eventually Lord, open minds and just lay things out to discuss. I LOVE YOU. Please help me to rest well, and heal my voice for the wedding i'm going to sing at Lord.

In your precious name I pray

Rest

Take time to rest, to be silent, to be still. Sit and talk with God, don't get confused by the busyness of the day, or that assignment you have to finish. Sit and talk with God. How many hours do you spend with your Cell Phone, Ipod, TV or computer...How man hours do you spend with Christ? Get off the computer right now and talk with God about anything.

seriously, why are you still reading?

it's time to get fully back on track.

jesus.

Dear God. Bless my auntie cynthia tonight. God her wedding is this saterday, and she is feeling the stress of it all. Lord please help her wedding dress to fit, and just for everything else to come together. Lord you created her beautiful, please help her feel beautiful on her special day oh God. You are awesome, please just help her day to go smoothly and awesomely.

I pray for everyone who came on the trip to breakforth as well lord. Thank you for that special opportunity, i just pray that you help us all rest up nicely, and that we just continue to set our eyes and hearts on you, for where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. God i want to treasure you the rest of my life, please help me through the good and the bad lord.

I pray for Juanita God. As she just got back from her big trip, please help her now to settle back into the daily routine of school and life God, just help her because i know it will be hard, when all she'll want to do is go back where it was warm. LOrd i pray for all of us in grade 12 lord, that you just give us strength to last these 5 months God. JUst carry us through, and help us work hard.

God i love you so much. You are what i live for, please help me give up my possessions as needed lord, give up my love for them. Help me realize things in my daily life that i have been to busy to see lord. I want to appreatiate everything you have made in all it's beauty. Lord- break my heart when yours breaks. Help me be compassionate, caring, understanding lord, and when the time comes please just give me the words to say lord. Help me know what the right thing to do is, and to have to courage to do it.

Your amazing and i love you so much.
I pray this in the name of Jesus.

Breakforth 2009

This Weekend I headed off to Breakforth Edmonton and man was it a blast! I am not going to go through the weekend and explain everything, it would take way to long, and you would get bored. Whoever YOU are... So here are just some things I have learned.

Media- watch for it. Transformers, since when do we not care taht there is a conversation about masterbation?! Did you even notice? Look at billboards next time your in a big city...since when is showing the sillouett of a naked girl okayy to make HUGE and post up for ALL AGES to see?! It's not okayy, society is messed up.

Laughing is good. Even if i get tired of my laugh, it's good to laugh throughout the day, our God is a God full of humor, and he did that for a reason. Go for walk, find things humorous about your neighborhood, it's okayy to laugh!!

I need to Connect with God on a deeper level, such as READING MY BIBLE ONCE IN A WHILE. Also, Praying doesn't have to be just sitting down in a quiet place and praying. SING YOUR PRAYER. whatever! WRIRTE IT DOWN!!! ... One night I stayed at the piano, and just played and sang. IT was awesome because i didn't know what i was singing, i was just singing my praises to christ. IT was beautiful!

Many other things i learned i will post later. This class is now over though, so i'll write later :) haha.. OFF TO PAMBREN!!!

Damaging Awkwardness

This is Me, My Bro, and My Sis... aren't we Beautiful??? Well I thought so haha. :) Gotta love family portraits no? ..Seems like every occasion the Camera comes out and snaps some shots of what we look like at that particular time. It's okayy tho, more memories the better I think. I love Photos. They're fun to take and fun to be in...if you look good that day..i really hate bad photos haha. Not going to lie. But thats okayy!

Sometimes things get awkward tho, with family i mean. Sometimes someone says something (SO MANY S'S!!!) or does something.. and it just gets messy and akward. I hate that, because you'll always hang on to that stupid little thing that happend that one day.

It hurts the relationship that you ahve worked so hard to build. But whatever..not the point i suppose. Those are my sib's up there. Their a lot closer to each other than I am to them, but thats okayy, sometimes they include me. And thats always nice. It's better when it's one on one... when it's the three of us..it always turns into the two of them, .. and me. I feel like a nusence.. a pain...a bother... I feel like a loner... looser... another L word.. haha. Whatever tho... Life moves on. And i have friends..so it's okayy.. I love them both anyway. ANd I know that they love me, and it's stupid that i feel like that.But I do. Anyways, good night.

The wonderful world or lib and vig

ilibi halibiave delieibecilibidelibed tolibo wrilibite thilibis ilibin lilibib. Elibevelieben tholibo yoliboulibu milibight nolibot belibe alibable tolibo realibead ilibit. Thalibat ilibis olibokaylibay. Ilibi alibam nolibot realibealyliby saylibayilibing alibanylibythilibing woliborth realibeadilibing alibanylibywalibaylibay. *silibigh*

Sovigo thavigat wavigas livigib avigand thivigis ivigis vivigig. :) govigot tovigo lovigove ivigit. Ivigif yvigyouvigou cavigan reavigead thivigs..hevigere ivigis thevige ovigone thiviging ivigi havigave tovigo savigayvigy fovigor reavigeal. Jayvigaysovigon ivigis sweevigeet buvigut avigannoyvigoyiviging. GAVIGARR!!!

yup..anyway.. it's 139, and i'm tired but can't sleep. if you can't read whats above no worries, doesn't say much important. just a bunch of babbling... really it's more fun to speak than write. probably a few errors in there..but thats okayy. Not really to worried about it.

Well tomorrow is a new day, OBVIOUSLY..but I mean i should sleep so it CAN be a new day.. *sigh*

peace.

--layers--

Sometimes I form these layers of myself and don't let people past. Actually I lied, not sometimes. I do it all the time, I hold so many secrets inside of me, and in all honesty, I don't know if I can ever let them out. These Layers of who I am have a hold on me, have a way of defying who I am and what I do. So is it possible for someone to break those layers? Tear them away somehow? I doubt it. So if it's not possible, should I bother letting them try? What if somehow, Someone got through. What would I do, how would I react? I don't know. So am I just scared of the possible outcomes? Thats stupid and pathetic. But I like my Layers. I like being complicated..I like hiding away in my own little world. But can someone join me in this realistic world I pretend to live in? Maybe God will open that space in time. So should I let people in? ... I Don't know. They're going to stand outside for an awefull long time... Wouldn't be surprised if they gave up....

stupid layers of stupidity always being so stupid *sigh*

*In a Vampire-istic State*

I'm so cold right now. It's hard to believe someone could be alive and be this cold, i should have died by freezing to death by now. For real.

I need a blanket.

First 'Real' Date.

Okayy... so i was super nervous not going to lie. But so was he so it was okayy. I say 'real' date, because i don't know if anyone has ever picked me up, and acted like a gentlemen before and like...actually went on a 'date'. you know? It was kinda old school in a way... I won't go into details. But he was very Gentlemanly..and it was refreshing. And nice. We went to Marley and Me.. it was very cute but sad :). We did coffee... and talked. It was a lot of fun, and I'm really happy right now. but shhh don't let that get out. No i'm not saying his name on here... not yet anyway. We're going out again sometime. (hehe!!!!) I just hope he can handle my stupidness. Cause if not, than things will just not work. And that would be sad... like..really sad.... yea...

*sigh* okayy..i'm going to bed. Things to think about, things to do... life goes on.

On my own...

This past weekend i got to go along with my mom for a little get away deal . I was excited cause sometimes, you just need time to think without a million voices yelling at you. It was good. I played guitar, piano, doodled and listened to the new testement. I drove in Regina.. ( and didn't even die :P ) It was a good time. Mom and I slept at the Delta hotel which was gorgeous and I slept in. I headed over to the mall again right from the hotel... and did some more shopping with no money. The best kind. I bought a journal however and did a writing excersise i call Thinking out loud. You write without stoping the pen, you write just whatever comes to your mind, what you see think and hear... it's so much fun.

Anyway We went to Saskatoon as well...from regina. Lots of Wedding things going on because my Auntie Cynthia is getting married!!! WOOOT... lots of fun, so while mom and her were doing wedding things, i watched Disterbia (shia Lebuff!!!!) and Momma mia. Both very good. The next day was her shower which was a lot of fun and than we just chilled..i watched my super ex girl friend. Lame movie but thats cool i suppose. THe next day (today) mom and i went shopping yet again..and i got A new coat, huskey sweats (cause i sat on gum with my last pair and it is now a permentent greece spot on my butt...), a sweater, a few shirts, a vest.... for like..realllllly cheap. IT was fantastic. I love deals. They rock hardcore.

anyway that was my adventure.... than I got Home.... :)

Dream 3--- tall man killing me

I don't remember a lot from my dream last night now. I have already forgotten, shoot, i should have wrote this right away. Oh well...

Dylan Currie was on a basketball team. So was I ( a different one) Our teams played eachother, they lost, and had to run laps around the gym of wymark... then it switched.

I remember that Alison was on a stretcher, we had to put her into a Ambulence.

A tall man (verry good looking tall man at that,) had a sword and was trying to kill me. My Legs siezed up and I Couldn't run away, My arms seized, I could hardly move, but i was fighting back. He was so close to hitting me. Tore my pants, my shirt. I knew i was dreaming,but didn't have th power to wake up. I tried walking away, useless. I was in a Hotel.

No vivid Colors.

WHy do I always dream that someone is trying to hurt me? Urg. It's annoying... and scary.

Freaking Finals

Yesterday
We enter the busy living room and sit on the brown carpetted floor, bring out our books and begin the studying. War of 1812, Confederation, Rebellions of 1837 and 1838, along with the Red Rebellion and the Northwest Rebellion run through our mind as we struggle to understand. We comprehend it tho, we embrace the history of our country and feel we have done a successful job of capturing the information. Relax.

Today
Enter the school grounds at 9 am to start another day of looking into the past. We study hard again. Eat breakfast with a friend, and study some more. We make a game out of it, because learning is much more fun when a game is applied. Time rolls by without notice of it, but we don't mind. We have nothing to worry about. The time finally comes when we decide to head up stairs and begin to write out our knowlage on paper. Begin.

The Test
Multiple choice. Map. Questions. As I read through the Final I wonder if the teacher knows what he's doing, or how to make a final. Tring to comprehend the weirdly worded sentences, trying to translate them into English, I Begin to get more and more frustraded. Anger. Than I got to the Map. Oh that fucking map. I'm sorry, but Regina is NOT located there...What? Which one of those tiny numbers would be Ottowa? ...Yes I know that York is now Toronto...Which dot/number would that be?!!! I hate maps. They can go die and spiral downwards into the deepest pits of Hell. It's just a test you say? Yes it is, but I knew everything. I KNOW everything, and once again he'll see me as a freaking little girl who doesn't care about school. And thats not the truth. I KNOW about our history, and if he would learn how to write a final, I would have been able to prove that too him. But he doesn't, so I wasn't.

I'm really pissed off right now, and grumpy too. Whatever. One more term of this lousy school and I'm on my way out. Fuck. A whole term. *sigh* I'm hungry.

Divorce.

The topic came up once.
She said never would they divorce.
I guess I should be happy,
but I'm not.

She'll never be tuley happy in her life on earth.
that makes me sad
And I hate that.

the world spins madly on

it's funny how things could have been. To think about the maybe's or what if's in life.

Like, what if i still lived in Wymark. What would be different? my friends? What if i still lived in saskatoon? My life would have been completley different..but than again so would my family's. Would it have changed how my parents are ? or what my sister believes? Who would my friends be..and would i still be hardcore into music? would i write? I would have different songs to sing. Where would i stand with Christ?

What if that night, i wuld have said something else? acted differently? What would hav happended? where would i be todday? here?

Here is my conclusion. The world spins madly on no matter what. We can't go in reverse, rewind, pause or fastforward. So why try? Why not take it as it comes... and make the decisions that we WON"T regret?

it's life. live it. me? i'm living for Christ.

Almost done.

Almost done term 1. NEED TO FINISH LIST:

1. Essay on "They shouldn't make you promise that"
2. Pshycology 'science fair' style report
3. Christian Ethics Chapter 5
4. Christian Ethics Chapter 6
5. Study for History Midterm
6. SLEEP
7. Do Theory---- Get 'er done!
8. Study for History Midterm
9. Practice up my ninja skills
and finally
10. Hand in everything.


*sigh* it shall be grand when it is finished.

SO today i got a phone call and i got a study group on Wednesday the 28th at 5 30 to go to! I LOVE MY LIFE...what is this you ask? WELL, let me tell you! I show up for two hours and answer simple questions and walk out with 40 bucks in my hand. Yay for being involved in the community! haha. Thats my story..

I would also like to say a special Congradulations to Juanita Carlene for having the guts to peirce her ears! <3 you rock hun!!! Can't wait to see 'em!

I have on more thing to say. Don't watch snakes on a plane. Dummest movie of life.
simply put.

Chantelles 16th

Chantelle Is now 16!!!! How crazy is life?!?! SHe can get her licence soon!!!

<----- This is probably my favorite picture of the evening... That is Jarrett And myself.... but it makes me smile hardcore. haha..we had fun

lastnight was her party and it was so much fun. We had fondue... played games (WOOT) sang songs... chilled...chatted... it was awesome. I had a really good time and i really hope she did too.

Chantelle is one of the most awesomemest people alive i'm pretty sure. I love her to bits... although the last year has been tough on the both of us, i still love her and would die for her.



This would be the amazing beautiful Chantelle Ramage ------->
Happy birhtday hun! hope it was a great night for you and please know that what ever happends to either of us i will always love you a hardcore amount!!!! !YOUR AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dreams 2--the hotell with alison

Another weird dream last night.

I forget how Exactly it started....but i was driving a stolen vehicel. It was a really old car. Camero? anway..i was trying to drive (my sister Alison in the passenger seat) ...i was in the basement of a hotel. People we're chasing us (surprise! Who knew right?) and we couldn't get out. OMGSH it started in a swimming pool....we were going down different slides...and than we both went down a slide that was closed and at the end was all these cars..so we took one... it had our names in it. and a note. But i forget what the note said. We were in the bottom of the hotel now. Anyway, people were chasing us (probably for the car) and we had no other option but to drive up the stairs. It worked surprisingly well and we were driving around the hotel.... we didn't hurt anyone, hit anything or any of that..but that we tried to go out the door and someone closed the automatic and broke the door. That was it. We were cought. However the people chasing us caused all the problems. FBI...ya. anyway THEY killed the door..THEY did something else but i forget now...and they said that it wasn't our fault..except for the vehicel part.

We were out of there and than ecaped from them. it switched to me and alison at a new hotel with our i pods trying to get a room. it was a huge hotel. very detailed....lots of colors. bright. the women behind the counter was black. she helped us through the process and as we stood there Dad Mom and Luke came up. Dad was angry because we had not gotten our rooom yet..apparently it was taking a long time.

Dad broke his arm by slipping on ice...and was telling us the story. He had to pick up my grad dress... go to blessings.... go to DQ ... and a few other things that took him a while but i don't remember... and he was angry at me because it was my fault (?) his arm was grody..it looked sick and i think alison threw up.

we went to wymark..our home.. er like our old house you know? ... and mom luke and i were going to go on a walk and do something secretly..( i forget what we were trying to hide) but than dad figured it out and wanted to come.... the FBI were at our house.... Dad made me drive our Van instead of walking...i was really angry. i remember thinking that he didn't even want to come in the first place so why can't he fricken drive? .... it wasn't winter outside.. idk what it was. There were HUGE weeds everywhere..everythign was unkept... untidy... dirty. like it had become a ghost town? It made me really sad whatever it was...so i started listening to music.... an old lady came out and started talking to luke from the house behind ours. she was fat and dressed in rags..carrying garbage bags to burn. her hair was strangly blonde.. and she smelled funny... i could smell her. like fire mixed with garbage mixed with cheap perfume maybe. it was grose.

i got cought and put inn a house that wasn't mine. i'd never seen it before.

I tripped on somthing and woke up when i hit the floor.

Dreams...

Last night I had the most Wacked out dream ever.

It started in History class.... Colbi was in there too. Colbi and I went to get juice for a doller from the machine...and with it came these slips of paper. A lot of slips of paper..they had numbers and lettters on them. I also recieved a bag of popcorn with my drink... but didn't have time to pop it all becasue mr. macmilon wouldn't let me. When we got back to class everyone had at least 20 slips of paper. The teacher said to bring up the one with your birthday, but in order. I was confuzed and i was the last one out of class trying to find that stupid peice of papper. For some reason i think i had like 40 to go through...But Janelle and Colbi we're helping me.

Than it switched over and Janelle, some kid i don't konw..we'll call him..Seth, (cause i think that was his name) and me were running down this ally thing. Running away?....Being chased. Someone was following us and if we were to get cought...they owuld find us. We found this girl.. she was really cute..rppobably our age, and she needed a cell phone beacuse she was being chased too but she got split up from her group of friends. I let her use mine...and than decided she hsould keep it because they were tracking us....than i was like..we should leave that here because they'll track us ! .... So we killed our cell phones and ran together.

Seth was blonde. He had curlyish hair and was pretty tall...he was musical... and built.

It cut again to all of us jumping into this tree... at different times.. NINJA STYLE...and all of this cute girls friends were there too. we all decided to work as a team becasue we didn't know why they were chasing us...but we talked for a while in this tree..

It than switched to just me and Seth were in this room filled with Parachutes..it was like a learing thing... but not. We were jumping from the roof hooked up to these things but no parachutes...just jumping around...than it turned into this giant machine thing..and was trying to kill us. we had to be so carefull as this huge sharp metel thing tried to kill us. than THEY came in and we hid. Janelle was here now. the people came in through this balcony thing...

People from all over... ( i knew everyone) came in and took seats..like they were about to watch a show..but we just hit behind them all so THEY couldn't see us. Juanita, Jarrett and Randi came up to us and wsa like..hey. And than walked away.

THEY had guns.

It switched again to a house. family reunion? for seth? he wasn't there though..he had been doing steriods... ya. i was hanging out with this dog Pepper..( who is SHelby Biesls dog in real life) and it could talk. Seth came back and was MUCH more built but like.. so much that he could have crushed me... it was weird.

Than it went back to the classroom and THEY were going through the birhtdays..i was just watching..i was not there in my dream tho.... i could just see what was happening. they were going throught those papers... with our birthdays chooseing people. I saw them choose me, they all smiled. (really eeerie)Than mr. Macmillon walked in....he was one of THEM.

JULIA WAKE UP ITS 2 O'CLOCK!!!!!

[stressed out]

I'm completely stressed out. Today I lay in bed for an hour....just not wanting to move or get up. I don't even have too much going on... i'm just tired of it all. But at the same time i'm not i guess. Because i love my life. I'm just tired right now? I'm stressed because of everything. Parents, relationships, friendships, school, music, life. *sigh*

Is Divorce okayy? In what situations would it be or would it not be? If your reading this..please let me know. We read a book in English and it got me thinking... please answer if you have thoughts?.....

Dear God.
Be with my frieends and family today lord, help it be a good day lived completely for you in everything I do. I love you so much. Please help me to know everything I need to know, and just that I feel a peace about things. Be with my mom as she goes away again for the weekend, keep her safe. Be with us at home, just help us all to get along and have motivation to clean and such. God you are so amazing. I pray right now for my close friends, just that you would continue working through there lives today lord...be with them and help them just to simply smile. I love you, you're amazing.

Amen.

Tattoo

I have always disliked Tattoo's..thought they were terrible ideas because their so permanent. There for life. But recently I've been re-thinking this topic. A tattoo is a way of memory. Something to represent or describe something in your life that you find important. Having said this, I don't think anyone should get a tattoo if they can't back up why they got it. If there is not a reason THEY see worthy, than they should rethink that choice. However the choice is up to them. Not to anyone else, no matter how the world see's your thoughts on YOUR personal tattoo... it's what you see and what you think of when you see it.

As you probably have guessed, I want a tattoo.
I don't want a little feary or pixie. No chinese symbol or words.

A tree.

I want a tree like the one I used to see in Wymark walking out of my house. What would it mean to me? IT would mean this: This tree will represent my home. Where I grew up and where I loved. Tree's are (in my eyes) one of God's most detailed works of art, and one of the most beautiful as well. When they are full and alive, they are beautiful. When they are dying and full of different colors, they are beautiful. When they are covered in frost, onlined in sparkles, they are beautiful. And when they are dead, standing there strong, they are beautiful.

Call me lame, call it over-rated. I don't care. I know I could remember this some other way, but this is how I will choose to do so. I want a detailed tree standing strong on the back of my leg... a bare tree.

And thats my story.

wAiTiNg

sitting here, not tired, not enthusiastic. I realize i'm waiting. For what? I'm not sure, but I continue to sit and wait for something to happen. Maybe something awesome, maybe something pathetic. Maybe i'm waiting to be tired, or for time to just pass by. Either way,

i'm just waiting.


haha...waiting...waiting ....waiting for the world to change... (8) ......hehe

And thats that.

SOOO>>>>> amazing how once you bring God into things..things change eh?

We (janelle and i) invited Jayson and Matt to youth...they didn't show. But after that they started treating us differently...like..idk...it was weird.

and than tonight... We had a 'talk'ish thing... and matt was all hardcore... and than we got home and matt had deleted both of us off facebook... doesn't want to talk to us anymore.

Cool buddy... mature..really. lol. But thats cool...cause i knew it was comming eventually... so whatevs right?.....right. Jayson and us are stilll coool..so thats neat. :) lol.

Yup thats my story for this evening...no drifting..not number exchanging..no riding ontop of cars...just an oldschool loss of a 'friend'. lol. MEH!

goodbye emo kid :P ... love.


me

Lost in thought...

Do you ever wonder what life would be like without color? Constantly seeing grey's, blacks, whites, No sun burns, no red lips, no yellow sun or green glass... no color.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like from inside a box? If you didn't have the family you had right now?... No one to hold you, no one to talk to , just a box.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you we're super outgoing ALL THE TIME. Never saying no, just going for things when opportunity arrose, having fun.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like without music? No humming, no backround music to movies, no bursting out into song, no piano, guitar, violin, no pitch.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you lived in the olden days? Carrages, horses, dresses, balls (cause every girl deserves to go to a ball :)), masquarades...

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you were a smirf? A blue short thing..that noone really knew anything about but loved you becasue you were blue with a white cap?

Do you ever weonder what life would be like if you were a pop star...a rocket scientist, a world leader, a polotician, a difference?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like... if you were to stop your day. stop the noise, stop the confusion, stop the thoughts of worthlessnes, stop the violence, close your eyes and not focus on the world around you...

and just pray?

FREE CARSS!!!!

HURRAY FOR FREE CARS! haha just kiding people...it just sounded excited. Here's how things went down today! I had a GREAT day! Not even going to lie! haha. kay..here we go.

SO i had voice lessons which were good..than worship practice..(always a good time) than supper WIth dylan and Chantelle ..good times..havn't hung with them for a while... than youth.. WHICH WAS awesome! Ben spoke tonight..it was great....

THAN....haha..oh wow..THAN the night REALLY picked up.

We called Jayson, (janelle and I) and we couldn't find them (Jayson and Matt) so we phoned again, and told them that we were about to stalk them, because Jayson was going home to Change for work...so we got there...and there car is sitting in the street. Running. :)

SOOOOOO Janelle looks over.."Hey Julia..." ..."ya?" ...."we should totaly steal their car!" "OKAYY!!" ...so we hoped in..me driving her in passanger..and than Matt saw us! BUT HE WAS TO SLOW!!! haha..he ran..but we locked our doors...and than we took off!

now because we are nice pepole, we left them our car. :) haha. and by our car i mean my moms car ! haha... ANYWAY< Janelle and I switched so she was driving..and drove around fro a bit...and than we decided that it wasn't fair to Jayson, cause he was at home WITHOUT A CAR!!...or so we thought!..

(i konw this is really exciting! ..try not to pee! haha )

We got back to Jaysons, and saw Matt WALKING towrads us.."WERE THE FLIP IS MY CAR!!!!!" Turns out Jayson had it. ANYWAY...long story short...

it was fun. :) haha. And than so they got in my car, we were driving Jaysons car, and than we drove to the church cause janelle had to be home soon..and we got out and sat on their hood and waited...than they showed up and we rode on their hood while they drove...BAD IDEA!!!..but oh so much fun! ..

and now we're at home.... on facebook and blogging lol...cool beans :)

LOVE

today's journal

Okayy..so I'm behind in school. Just letting you all know.

here is my day.
730-choir
900-filming
1000-school
1200-band
100-school/filming
230-school/band/fliming
330- voice lessons
430- worship practice
600-eat?
650-warm up
700-worship!
900-coffee...with no money..so more like..driving around...drifting hehe.. listening to some tunes
1100- SLEEP

I'm glad to back in the swing of things.
It feels good to be busy finaly again.

Cops

Okayy,,so heres how it went down.

Janelle and I were drifting around, just a regular night..but Jayson Matt and Scott weren't there...so i guess it was kinda of Adnormal..but anyhow it was a good night haha. We were doing fricken awesome...Janelle driving..me on E brake (hehe) . it was great. Than we turned a corner,...that one corner. those stupid headlights. And our stupid minds. COPS right there, as we drift...except THANK GOD it was actually a real drift...it was just kinda...almost..half way haha.. yea.. and than we started freaking out..and she was watching the cop car to see if the lights would go on..and this car is driving towards us... and we almost hit it! IT was intense...and no...not like camping...just intense. haha. Ya.

But it was a good night! ..Jayson is sick however...and i fear that is our falt..becasue we made him stay up really late..and than kept him up..and woke him up early...and now he called in sick..haha.. OOPS ...oh well..he needs his sleep so that will be good. And now Janelle is a little sick..i think becasue of car sickenss...oh welll : ) WE WILL ALL SURVIVE>>>.

ps. I'm half lacctose intolerant...if thats how you spell it.
and i can't have caffeen
or greece...
feel bad for me hahah JUST KIDDING!!!!

i cheat a lot.... *sigh* but i shouldn't..cuase my heart is hurting right now...