Arby's

Oh yea--- Jay went to S'toon yesterday and he went to Arby's..and I told him I love Arby's ..and than he brought be a burger home haha... kinda grose but kinda cute...kinda wierd.. lol just not really sure what to think about it...but yes :) :) There is my other story of the day...haha.

OH -- and he came and droped it off at the Hotell..and Matt was with him..*AWKWARD* haha i havn't seen Matt since that night he got supper pissed and deleted us off facebook ahhaha.. ya..so that was interesting. ...

Janelle's Party

So yesterday we were going to go to The Hat-no not to party it up...just to get away. But the weather got super bad this week and our parents didn't feel right about us travelling the wonderful highway.... So we stayed in town. We were all quite bummed out at first, but that Mrs. Laybolt had the beautiful idea of getting us a hotel room here in swift!!! So we did :) haha..

It was great fun! We stayed up till about 3 30 ... we talked about everything...just poored things out on the tabel...had a bible study thing..talked about God... it was great. We slept in... got like 7 hours of sleep (WHICH IS AWESOME) and just all around had a good time!

I enjoy those ladies----- fun to hang with.

THANK YOU MRS. LAYBOLT!!!! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!! haha....

oh man..we made a timmy's runnn to ..janelle and I ... and than i'm pretty sure the guy thought we were just drunk cause Janelle dropped her change, and than we laughed really hard...and it was funny hahaha..ya thats my story.

Today we are going to Joel and Dylan's hockey game..i say them..cause their the only people we know on the team! Lol..but it should be good... I hope..Not that I understand it lol..BUT THATS OKAYY!!! :)

i'm out..ttyl!

oh wait... my blog wasn't working earlier...so can you get on it now? i hope so..well if your reading this i guess you got on it eh? ...ya..okayy.... *crossess fingers* lets hope it stays working..i love my blog lol. I think i would rather my facebook deleated than my blog. ANWYAY BYE

EMO- emotional moment observed

ever catch a moment between 2 people and you feel awkward because you think their feeling something special between them?...their having a 'moment' and your interupting!.... and than you go hide cause you feel dumb right? i Think this is where all emo's start off. It just happends and BAM your like "OH NO!! >>>>MUST WEAR SKINNY JEANS AND COVER MY FORHEAD WITH HAIR!!!"

Tears of the saints

There are homes brocken down; peoples hopes have fallen to the ground from hatred...There are schools full of hatred Even churches have forsaken love and mercy. This is an emergancy. There are Tears from the Saints. Sinners; reach out your hands. Children; in christ you stand.

I'm so sick of this world, of this city of this home. I'm not trying to pull a MB, not being depressed, and i'm not FLICKing being emo. Sometimes one just needs to cry. But I'm sick of the tears to. Why is she coming down on me. What the hell did I do wrong? Nothing. Thats what.

Dear imaginary friend.

I fucked up again today. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I promise. I'm sorry for letting you down... or did you care enough to even get your hopes up? I'm probably just a charity case I know, but I'll do better...I will. Somehow. Is it true? That when your passed christmas of grade 12 you change? Because mom says I am... did you? ha! your not even real why am i asking you. Some questions just should go unanswered I guess huh? --not all...like this one -- Am i doing the right thing by going to Briercrest next year? But That kind of question is reserved for God.

I heard once you have to reserve a place in heaven because when your born into this world you already have a place in Hell.

Something to consider I suppose. Wouldn't it be a shame to know the truth and follow the lies? Yes.. yes it would be...but i bet those who do, travel through life a hell of a lot easier and have more fun. But that doesn't matter does it... i'd rather be loved and forgotten than hated and remembered. Shit- i don't even know where i'm going with this letter. My point is this i suppose: i'm sorry.

Your closest friend
Julia.

????????????????

Not sure what to write about today.
Last weekend I went to a youth Conference; YQ.
It was a lot of fun! Played Games, met new people...
good time had by all.

This week we cam back to school.
BORING
I made a stupid deal with my mom
I drop bio- I take my grade 2 Theory exam
Regret is filling my head let me tell you.

just to let you know, this is not a poem.
I just keep pressing enter
cause it's fun
and exciting
and new
just kidding i'll stop.

maybe.

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME

BWUAHAHAHAHA
why yes that was my evil laugh, thank you for noticing!
i'm so tired, i could probably sleep for 18 hours or more.
mmmmmmm
wouldn't that be delightfuL?

ummm i'm doing homework.
so i'm going to go, and maybe write a real blog later.


maybe

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME!!!!

BUWAHAHAHAHA
this could turn into a viciuos cicle... i can feel it comming on lol.

anyway bye.



ps- i don't like bio... i got a freaking 38% on my last test. SWEEET

Don't give up

Please don't give up
Not yet
I'm not ready to face things alone
don't loose hope
Not yet
I'm still here, I can do this
I just need time.
Time from life?
Time from school?
friends?
I don't know, just don't loose hope.
Not yet
I need you to stand beside me
whatever I do
Whatever I say.
Please, I just need to know
someone believes in me.

Don't give up on me
Not yet
Not ever.

Dream 5-- To close to home...

Okayy-- So my family and I were headed to Joy Baylies house..one of my moms old friends. We went there, and to our surprise so were a lot of others. We got there, and it turned into a huge party (non-alchoholic of course) butit was sure fun. My bro and I got bored however and began to snoop around. He found this old hat and a chocolate milk thing. It was cool cause he was like.."oh ya man, i've always wanted one of these! There so trippy!" And than he poured the chocolate milk into the hat ( the hat was brown and super old school) and it became the bible. IT like..morphed into it once the two touched. I Was so impressed cuase it was all in order and everything.. like..it was super awesome. lol..

ANyway, than we were staying at a hotel, and Alison and I decided that we should learn how to dance, so we were going to show eachother what we had..like what we can do.. and than we were down town swift current right? and Me and Janelle were chilling... and Alison decided to go.

So There was this kid named Braiden and than janelle and myself... we were running through this mall, and found all this hidden money in different places. Because Janelle and I were broke, we were trying to take the money without looking suspicious.. it was funny..but hard. I remember i had a 10 dollar bill.... and than the random loonies and two-nies. lol. SOOOOOO We were getting this money from different shops and stuff, and than went back down town. We thought this van was following us and got a little creeped out, so we wnet into Dooley's - There were these men in there.. and Braiden (who i don't know in real life..not any of the braydens i know.) got super freaked out. He told us to get outside, because he didn't want us to be a part of it. We ( janelle and I ) got confused and stayed to see what was happening. The Men came oer and started talking to braiden. Than they hit him and I got mad. I stomped feircly over, but before I got there they pulled out a gun. Janelle ran to me, grabbed my arm and we got out of there. Not sure of what was happening..we continued on our way...we could here Braiden yelling run..but we thought if we walked it would be less suspicious.

We out side.. and we saw that van again...so we turned a corner and ran and lied down behind these bushes. the van drove by, but than got picked up by a helicoptor and this huge spot light came out and stuff... wierd i know. But they flew over and blocked us in..so we couldn't get out. They shoved us into the helicopter and let go of the van. I don't remember who the people were in there or anything..but it became more like..a prisen than a helicopter... We were put in this cage or behind bars (whatever you want to say). I looked on the other side of the bars, and there was someone on a chair, than another set of bars away was a lion or tiger.. i forget. I turned around and saw bars on my left and right... Gorilla's. What the Crap i konw. But than the bars disapeard and they were in the same cage or whatever as me and Janelle. THere was a bathtub... and the Gorilla was sitting there.. i saw a chair and was about to sit down, having nothing else to really do but be scared, and than Janelle moved the shower curtain .. and a HUGE ..like FRICKEN HUGE Gorilla got super angry and hoped out of the bath tub and was like...making noise and i could see his teeth.. and I was SOOO Scared.

Than my cell phone went off and I was up.... I couldn't focus on my screen however..and i was out of breath...

What the crap guys... lol.

Talent Show

Tonight went super well! I played a lot more than expected, but it was a good night. I had a lot of fun, specially in Popular -wicked. Loved doing that.. i love musical theater! lol Anyway, I'm really pumped and happy right now, can't sleep... cause i'm so pumped lol.

THE BREAK IS HERE.. no school for a week yo, check it! love it! It'll be fun i'm hoping lol...

yay life? *goes out for high five* ...anyone? eh???

10 bucks he doesn't show!

I should have raised the stakes, I could be rich by now for all the events he has missed. It's not even a shock any more. Why should tonight have been any different? I don't know, but it just was. Walking in, looking for them..together.. maybe because it's valentines day soon? Idk, I just thought he would come, you know, since he said he would and all. But I only saw her. Her loving smile. I love her. I love him too, it's just annoying cause it's getting harder to believe he loves me. You'd think he would put in a little effort to get to know me, when was the last time he asked how my day was...or how classes are going. I don't think he has even noticed that I havn't written anything since September. But thats okayy, maybe there is something going on that I can't see. What ever it may be, it hurt me a bit tonight that he didn't show. Thats my story.

maybe next time...

Dream 4---snakes

David Schimmer (Ross from the tv show Friends) some random chick, and I were all buddy buddy. We did everything together... including ...witnessing murders?

We went into this abandoned house because we were being chased (surprsie surprise i know..) but this house was all would..and was more like a really old church thing..maybe. Anyway, the two tall guys chasing us came in, and im pretty sure they were like... mentally ill..or crazy, like phsyco..you know? Yea, well it was weird. In the midst of trying to shoot me, the guy shot his partner in the shoulder and he landed on a pew (hense the reason i think it may have been a church?) we all became still. It was shocking, for some reason, i felt like I had killed a man, but i knew i hadn't. I was wheled up with sadness and sorrow for this man that had once been after me. His parter began to cry, not bawling and sobbing with a runny nose cry, but a soft gentel cry. Two perfect tears slid down his face as he massaged his friends shoulder. Comforting at first. Before I realized he was trying to make it bleed MORE.. so he would die. he was saying things like "it's just a snake bite. Your a wimp. Go on now, you know you want to die, go already" but it was being said so calmly and nicely. Bitter sweet almost.. but creepy. Suddenly a huge snake went up this pillar thing, and it was grose.

Me and my two friends ran out; afraid. We went back in for some reason, and found the dead guy on the pew but his friend was gone. I looked under the pew and removed a guitar case ...behind it was the friend. He was in shock..?.. and couldn't move. We ran again.

On the way out, a cop was on his way in.. i told him to look under the pew..but not to tell that i told him otherwise i would kill him..but not really cause i wouldn't kill anyone.. he gave me a wierd look and we ran in different directions. Me, David, and the some chick, walked around the block. We found many snakes around town... these 2 men had been trying to killl me and all my friends and family. Huge snakes, tiny snakes...all colors...so vividly real. I remember my dad dying... it was crazy and scary..sad.

We walked a full block, and when we got back to the old house, Cops and FBI stood all around, investigating. We darted into a house and locked the doors. The room was filled with balloons and such , and my friends were freaking out because they couldn't figure out why the police were already there... i stayed silent which gave me away. They figured I must have told them and left me in the room with the balloons.

Than i woke up.
silly dreams, always making my mind twirl round and round and round and round and round

Conseqenses of being sick

I just wanted to sleep through drama.. maybe bio if needed. I'd go for third...get to choir..be cool. But thats not what happened. I missed all morning and choir. I got to school and Randi told me I should talk to mrs. Mclean because she was angry that I had missed. I found her easily, but she says " we need to talk" .. taht she feels she's running without a choir director et person... Shes upset and I Know it. Frick. It's not my fault I got sick today..my bad! I've done a lot for her, she doesn't have the right to say I havn't. She doesn't even know the half of what goes on in my house... in my head. Whats she gonna do? kick me out of the SRC Posistion? Ya taht would suck! Frick. I didn't even do anything, sorry I wasn't there to say 'COME TO THE PARTY TONIGHT...It'll..be fun?" Gosh. I hate my life... not really but right now I do. I'm sick of pepole judging me. Thats all. I feel so sick, there is not even a teacher in the calss i'm in right now, so i didn't even have to come..

Road Trip anyone? I wish I had money .... just get away for a while.

late nights spent alone

Alone; sitting in my dark damp basement. I can hear noises coming from upstairs.. noises of someone sleeping, of a furness and of running water. These things don't concern me. I'm tired; sick. Sick and tired, tired and sick, it makes no difference. I'm done with people like him. God bless his lonely life... may God keep him company in these days of greif, but I'm afriad to. I'm afraid that if I stay to close, his sickness; depression, will wear off on me. And I won't have any of it. I've tried, I have! Don't accuse me of not trying, you don't konw me, you don't know my thoughts, my actions. You see what goes on at school. I lead two lives, and this one is becoming more and mroe sketch. I used to be afraid of my school life.. walking around alone.. but I've never felt so alone than here at home. I know God will always be with me, I know he'll hold me tight and allow me to cry on his shoulder, but sometimes it's nice to have a human shoulder too. But I can not even cry here anymore. It's not safe. If I show my weakness, what then? What then will become of this weary body I manage to survive in?

Wispers of evil fill my ear. Soft;sweat wispers of nothingness. I hate it. I want to get away, for a day, for a weekend, for a month I DON'T CARE! GOD please just get me out. So much pain all around me, I feel trapped. No, it's not you. I love you.. I do. Don't acuse me saying I don't; cause I do.

It's late; i have a head ache like none other.. So i'm going to watch some TV maybe. I feel hot, but i'm shivering. I'm tense but i'm so tired. More noise. Voices.. please God get me out... I don't want to fall again.

Power in Prayer

This weekend I was very sick, and Had to sing at my Aunties wedding! Long story short, even though my throaght felt terrible and i was coughing and hacking all day, the 5 min that i sang, i was okayy. I didn't need to cough, and i felt good about the song. People said i did good, and by people i mean my family, so i don't really know how much of that i can trust. I could have done better, but God really helped me out to be able to even be there...let alone being able to sing like i did. PRAISE GOD!

Thats my story for today....

Bogging together

see how thats like bonding and blogging AT THE SAME TIME! *ehem* this is julia and janelle 53d15616 <--- janelles imput. 6+256+26+5=6253557. 236526+222222so like the other day 23 i was pr2e3tending to b23e ninja and2 3it was super frick6e6n6 awesome666..OH MAN w2e3 totaly watched 23 59 Nick and NOra's i1n5finite playlist and it was soo5oooooooo5ooo 5good!~ i loved it and so did she6. 2it5 w3as5 5so 7cute you don'4t 5even know. hah
a wow..this 5is so int5eresting. you a5ree just going to l9ov5e reading thig 666this i';m sure..6.6 6can you even tell wh6at6 6we're saing? 555555i5 5s55pel55e5d5 that5 5w5ro5n5g5.5.i meant saying. but i c4an'3t go ba1ck now!!! AQHH4h84h89hHHHHHH lol.


*switching Positions*
! !!+
!55ghe9y64y96!!!! its janelle.9.6and jul96ia...num589bers!!! 9can yo5u 6rea2d 3th1is2 is4 695+isisis1isisi3si+si2isi6sis4is89isisiis...JES6U2S...64ni9n7tend6o2 so uh5..4I dont no what to 654wr6ite but 66I love yoyu!!6 6a6nywa6y6s4984+++++++++WE ARE THE6 5ST4RANGE IS T8HE BE2ST MOVIE EVERR48!!!!!!5464586845!!!!!!!!!64!!97!!!2!!!!!6!!!!!8!!!!9!!!7!!4!!!!62!!!!6+!!!!!3!!!5!!!9okay
well
hav+e 65fun reading t+h95is
+98l+a6t2er+95!+!

for the lady in the shallow grave knows no loving glances

My head is bursting with thoughts, ideas, stories, lyrics, words, scripture, and I absolutly love it. I want to declare the Lord to the nations, to this country, to this province, to this town...to my home. Christ is AMAZING, and he needs to get out there. I don't want to be that chick who dies, and people have to lie at my funeral saying things to make me sound better. I don't care if i'm frowned upon by the rest of the world, a social outcast. Who gives. I don't care, it's time to put aside those stupid steryotypes and lables, I don't care what they call me, or of no one will chill because I love the Lord and there not okayy with that. I will share the Lord with every opportunity my God gives me.

Dear God.

Help me to not be afraid of chances to share your great love, help me be strong and to do my 'research' in learning more about you myslef so when people have quesitons i'll be able to answer to the best of my ability lord. Help me be alive in you God.. I'm ready for change..so bring it on. Lord prepare my heart mind and soul for a life of missions, a life of serving you, a life of love God, whatever you have in store for me, prepare me God. I love you SOOOO much, you're amazing. Thank you for tonights discussion, and all the outcomes of it. Please stir thoughts in minds tonight Lord, and let what needs to be said, be spoken out loud for all to hear. God please help things get out on the table and just free so that feelings are no longer being burried because of situations. Lord you are in all things, it says in the bible where two or more gather in your name you will be also.. so please just bless that conversation that will come eventually Lord, open minds and just lay things out to discuss. I LOVE YOU. Please help me to rest well, and heal my voice for the wedding i'm going to sing at Lord.

In your precious name I pray

Rest

Take time to rest, to be silent, to be still. Sit and talk with God, don't get confused by the busyness of the day, or that assignment you have to finish. Sit and talk with God. How many hours do you spend with your Cell Phone, Ipod, TV or computer...How man hours do you spend with Christ? Get off the computer right now and talk with God about anything.

seriously, why are you still reading?

it's time to get fully back on track.

jesus.

Dear God. Bless my auntie cynthia tonight. God her wedding is this saterday, and she is feeling the stress of it all. Lord please help her wedding dress to fit, and just for everything else to come together. Lord you created her beautiful, please help her feel beautiful on her special day oh God. You are awesome, please just help her day to go smoothly and awesomely.

I pray for everyone who came on the trip to breakforth as well lord. Thank you for that special opportunity, i just pray that you help us all rest up nicely, and that we just continue to set our eyes and hearts on you, for where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. God i want to treasure you the rest of my life, please help me through the good and the bad lord.

I pray for Juanita God. As she just got back from her big trip, please help her now to settle back into the daily routine of school and life God, just help her because i know it will be hard, when all she'll want to do is go back where it was warm. LOrd i pray for all of us in grade 12 lord, that you just give us strength to last these 5 months God. JUst carry us through, and help us work hard.

God i love you so much. You are what i live for, please help me give up my possessions as needed lord, give up my love for them. Help me realize things in my daily life that i have been to busy to see lord. I want to appreatiate everything you have made in all it's beauty. Lord- break my heart when yours breaks. Help me be compassionate, caring, understanding lord, and when the time comes please just give me the words to say lord. Help me know what the right thing to do is, and to have to courage to do it.

Your amazing and i love you so much.
I pray this in the name of Jesus.

Breakforth 2009

This Weekend I headed off to Breakforth Edmonton and man was it a blast! I am not going to go through the weekend and explain everything, it would take way to long, and you would get bored. Whoever YOU are... So here are just some things I have learned.

Media- watch for it. Transformers, since when do we not care taht there is a conversation about masterbation?! Did you even notice? Look at billboards next time your in a big city...since when is showing the sillouett of a naked girl okayy to make HUGE and post up for ALL AGES to see?! It's not okayy, society is messed up.

Laughing is good. Even if i get tired of my laugh, it's good to laugh throughout the day, our God is a God full of humor, and he did that for a reason. Go for walk, find things humorous about your neighborhood, it's okayy to laugh!!

I need to Connect with God on a deeper level, such as READING MY BIBLE ONCE IN A WHILE. Also, Praying doesn't have to be just sitting down in a quiet place and praying. SING YOUR PRAYER. whatever! WRIRTE IT DOWN!!! ... One night I stayed at the piano, and just played and sang. IT was awesome because i didn't know what i was singing, i was just singing my praises to christ. IT was beautiful!

Many other things i learned i will post later. This class is now over though, so i'll write later :) haha.. OFF TO PAMBREN!!!